Lama's log

Well, I finally buckled and took in a couple of guys who are currently residing on my sofa bed. So far so good and lets hope it lasts. I was pretty nervous about it because any other time I've taken people in I haven't had kids to think about and contend with all the add on risks.

The interesting thing is people's reaction to it. With a couple of notable exceptions people have not been very positive about this at all. Some of it I get easily. There is a concern for me and mine and a worry that this could end in tears. There is also something more than this. A kind of hesitant shock and a recoiling from me taking them in.

I keep going over this thinking about why this is and a constant wondering of if this is a bit crazy. I can't get away from it being essentially right and I keep thinking about Dan who took in a homeless bloke when I first arrived in Wakefield. It ended 6 weeks later by the homeless guy leaving and taking all his electrical goods. What was great about this was Dan's reaction. There was no disillusionment or disappointment. A few weeks later he was hosting an ex con and a while after that he was informally fostering a really demanding teenager. Doing good stuff is not good because of the rewards but just because it's the right thing. You make yourself vulnerable hope for the best, but pain may come.

I am bracing myself for the worst and hoping either that someone can explain the reaction and therefore why I'm off kilter or hoping I can deal with the hard stuff in a Dan sort of way.

There was a brilliant moment over breakfast this morning when my kids couldn't get their heads round why we had blokes in our front room. Sam finally clicked that the only other option was for them to sleep outside and then said, 'In that case they better stay with us then'

I think I'm at the end of my blogging time so these posts over the next days are likely to be my last.

Tonight I popped out to see the rough sleepers who have been staying at the church over the last 10 nights. It's difficult for me to sit at home at the moment and not think about the fact that they are outside and cold. So, I grabbed a Mark and went down to the river to find where they were at and see how they are.

They weren't all that good. They have got a couple of tents now but their stuff has still got damp and wet. The night is much warmer but it's still pretty cold. Food is back to being irregular. The good thing was that they're in a group and that does make them far less vulnerable but that's about all I can say with any positivity about it.

9 of them were in church on Sunday which is pretty beautiful. I don't feel easy at all about being in my house tonight, which, is how it should be. I keep toying with offering some house room but so far have chickened out to my shame. The place they're staying is right by a new housing development. Most of the plush flats stand empty because of the recent crash so literally, a fence a way, dozens of unoccupied houses stand while 6 guys and a pregnant woman look on from a sheltered ditch. It's pretty crazy.

Everybody has been talking about what the council should or should not be doing. The homeless talk about it, the neighbours, the church folk. Seriously though I think it’s our responsibility. As in mine and yours. It doesn't matter what the council do or don't do. I'm pretty sure I should be my neighbour’s keeper and they mine. If there is any sense of Jesus being in relationship with me and with them there must then be some implication for us together. There's just no getting away from it.

So, we talked about community and people got excited and said what a great idea. We talked about ministry and the nature of stipend and people said 'my my we didn't see it like that before'. Then we met the homeless and they came and worshipped with us and people said, 'this is transforming'.

Then, just as I was starting to relax and think this church thing might be very awesome, we talked about our services and how some people are not getting their buzz in order to set themselves up for the week and time stood without motion for me as the treacle I needed to wade through came gushing back once again.